One of my favorite
things I do, when I am back home, is to
spend time alone on the terrace. Our terrace overlooks a beautiful pool and
some lovely coconut trees. Some of my most cherished memories while growing up was late-nights on the terrace. The full moons,
the clouds afloat or the breeze, I love everything about this quality
"me-time"...It's one of those spaces, where I can actually say what I
think or feel. ..where I can completely be me.
Needless to say,
this time around is also no exception. Just the other day, I was up on the terrace reading my thoughts aloud. It was a beautiful
night. Lovely breeze flowing...but the sky was overcast. I sat there thinking, it is amazing how life
changes. Last year, same time I had just finished my undergrads and I was
worrying about my future. And here I am now, already done with my first
semester in med school. So far the
journey has been quite spectacular with a few minor bends in the road. Made some amazing friends. Whatever I
thought, feared or expected...I have to
admit I was pleasantly surprised; but obviously, it's just the beginning. And that's what
is scaring me. The coming few years would
test me and my peers to our limits. The pressure will be enormous and not to
mention about the financial nitty-gritties. Honestly, I am not scared of the
hard work or the long hours that I have to put in. What worries me, is
disappointing my parents. They expect a
lot out of me, especially dad. And that kind of puts an added pressure. As I was
dwindling about my future, it suddenly struck me that in a month and few days exact, it'll be 3
years since my break up. The happy coincidence is the date coincides with my
birthday. (How Lovely right?). My ex has
moved on and moved on so many times since we broke up.. (I know! What was I
thinking!)...while I am still single. I don't really mind being single. Being single has it's perks, believe you
me...but sometimes one misses the companionship. Just being with someone. That's when I begin to wonder if I'd ever
meet Mr. Right or if true love exists. What I believed was true love or my Mr. Right, came and bit me in
the arse. From where I see, right now, there are far too many frogs in the pond, and face
it there's a reason why they are called 'frogs'. And I refuse to kiss frogs, period. And may
be that's the reason I'm still single. A
very familiar unsettling feeling was suddenly creeping in.
All of a sudden a
distant noise brought me back to planet
earth and I realized I wasn't the only one
in my sacred sanctuary! I had company. My brother and my pet rabbit had
joined me, I don't know when. My rabbit was running around like a
free-spirited, not-a-care-in-the-world crazy bunny (the cause of the
noise)...while my brother sat there talking to , eh well apparently 'me'
(Awkward!). I tried to focus on what he
was saying, trying to pick up on the 'key words' but my focus kept drifting. I was home, I was with my family, I was with
my Best friend, then why was I feeling so lonely or perturbed? What is wrong with me? And more
importantly why do I 'THINK' so much?
I looked up at the
sky and I saw the night sky being completely covered with clouds. Very quietly I remarked, 'what a beautiful
night. It's such a shame that you can't see the stars'. My brother, caught off
guard with my remark, looked at me then up at the sky and then said,
'What are you talking about? there...right there...so many stars twinkling bright. Can't you see them?'
I looked up and
asked him 'where?'
He's said,
"Everywhere. Just look harder."
I closed my eyes and
stared at the dark canvas again. And yes, my brother was right. There were
beautiful arrays of twinkling stars, shining bright. One could see their
sparkle even through the dense clouds. I just needed to look harder!
I started smiling.
My brother looked perplexed fearing I might have an eye-sight disorder while my
rabbit continued to run in circles, oblivious of what was happening!
The fact is Future is just like the night sky. Carbon copy, if I may! It's dark, it's
mysterious. But no matter how dark it
is, one will always find some bright constellations illuminating the night
sky. The only real difference between the night sky and our lives, is the
constellations! There they are a product of E=MC (Square) and here in our lives, they are our family, some close friends, a bundle of
opportunities, learning experiences and chances that life throws upon us.
No one's life or future can be
completely dark in true sense. There's always something bright about that dark
canvas. We just have to look harder or get a new perspective.
