Sunday, August 8, 2010

Being Universe


Paulo had said in "The Alchemist", " "When you want something the Universe conspires to help you"

On one such somber day, when you contemplate & retrospect yourself and the decisions you make, I decided to improvise the statement and put it up on one of the social networking sites. This is what I put up as my status:

"the universe conspires, for us to be in the right place at the right time! so even though u feel there'z only grey clouds in ur horizon, wait for the silver lining to appear"


This as usual evoked a lot of responses. While others merely chose to 'LIKE' it, my 'stochastic scientist' mamu decided to voice his perception or as he called it, "advocating pessimism". Here's what happened & after:

Titasha Banerjee if the wait overcomes the patience then what to do????

Moulinath Banerjee
your observation, and for that matter, the quote from The Alchemist and the Om Shanti Om copycat version in Hindi, is a bit too fatalistic, isn't it? As a stochastic scientist (or at least a
pretender to that title..:-)), I view the univers
e as fundamentally
random, with a veneer of causality on the surface..and everything is evolving constantly and things come to pass as a
natural concatenation of circumstances. Nothing is really pre-ordained. The notion of pre-ordained-ness (is that a word?)
seems to be flawed to me, but is maybe useful at times to overcome disappointments and personal loss and provides people some equanimity to deal with a fundamentally callous and uncaring universe. I agree that this is a cynical interpretation of reality. Of course, I am not advocating pessimism here. The only thing we can do is hope for the best. But there's no one watching over us....

Ok, enough bombast for one day!

Sugana Banerjee@ titashadidi: well, rewards r sweet for one who waits...;-)

Sugana Banerjee
‎@ Chintumama: Firstly I dun think it's cynical at all. Neither i believe u're advocating pessimism. It's merely a choice of perception, i.e. what u choose to believe. The fact that u rightly observed is that it's a mere reciprocation of a somber mind. You know, one of those days, when u blv the word "Crap" has more to it, than given. I dunno if there's someone watching over us. I won't even debate on this. However, my mind tells me there are certain things, we(humans) don't understand while my heart says we aren't meant to. All i would like to say is, I perceive that there's a reason behind everything that happens to us. The reason may not be that obvious but there is. You might reason that it is the decisions we make with our conscious mind but then there's this unconscious & subconscious states that subtly governs the conscious being. Who governs them? Something i don't know of. Something that i'm not meant to know & hence I acknowledge the higher being. And to think about it, why do the 'turning points' of our lives, happen at a certain TIME? not a minute earlier? not a minute later. Is there a stochastiic reasoning behind it? If you say we 'thought' then or decide to do then, then why din we 'think/'decide'' earlier???

Moulinath Banerjee
But what you refer to as the turning points of life are all perceived as turning points in hindsight. Turning points have to happen at some time, correct? The turning points of our lives seem to me to be accidents (albeit accidents we might increase the likelihood of, in many cases, by our choices and propensities) that have had more impact on our lives than others, so looking back at them, we often accord them some special status, whereas to other events we don't! Say you're craving some chocolate at 2 pm...would it not be strange to muse about the fact why you craved the chocolate exactly at 2 pm, neither earlier nor later? Well, your metabolic processes conspired (to use a recent favorite verb of yours) to create that sensation in your brain at that time. Same holds for turning points. At certain times things come together and something momentous happens. And we define those as turning points once we realise their impact on us...

I admit that this form of reasoning can often take away the charm from some fond memory or event...for me it doesn't.
Special moments are special...they don't have to be pre-ordained to be special.

And in regard to the supreme being, well, who governs the supreme being? Another super supreme being? If so, we could
postulate higher and higher supreme beings ad infinitum...so why not dispense with a supreme being right at the start and postulate that the universe is self-governed? Introduces one less parameter to explain reality in the spirit of the maxim -- Occam's razor (look this up if you haven't come across the term before).

Sugana Banerjee
@chintumama: okay, how will u explain what hpnd between u & mami? Initially when she got in touch with u, u mistook her to be a guy? Later, when u realised the "booboo" u pulled off, you went forth...right?Have you ever spared a thought that what would happen, if u hadn't made such a mistake in deciphering names? Rest, as they say is history! But had it been this romantic, if u had played ur cards , lets say 'correct', from the beginning??? Mistakes are 'accidents' right???

And what about the times when lives are saved/changed within nick of time? Is it still 'our metabolic processes conspiring with our brain'? I'll quote u here, " At certain times things come together and something momentous happens. And we define those as turning points once we realise their impact on us.." Ofcourse, something steers the chain of reaction that leads to that momentous outburts, but what is that something? Stimulus, is a more likely answer. A change in the environment/state is what we define to be a stimulus. And the way our body copes with the stimulus is the result of 'formed memory', 'conditioned reflexes' or in easy terms, experience. what about the unconditioned reflexes? how did they come to existence?

the change, as I mentioned earlier, is brought about by reactions. Specifically biochemical. That brings us to " Big Bang Theory" and formation of first RNA. (Contrary to popular belief, RNA was first formed and then by reverse transcriptase action, DNA came to existence). when a certain base joined with a specific one, we got our genetic material. Have u wondered why did 'A' pair up with 'T'/'U' or 'C' paired up with 'G'. what would happen if this wasn't the combination? Prolly we wouldn't be there or may be the concept of 'homo sapien sapien' would be different. the formation of the first genetic material was by chance!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Grapes are sour, but Grapevine is sweet!


Hey everyone, here's a mail I'd like to share with all. It's between me and my best friend Manpreet. Some details of the mail has been changed for obvious reasons. Give it a read. I guarantee you this that after reading this conversation you'll feel it's okay if your colleagues hate you. It's a compliment in disguise! wicked yet angelic...enjoy!!!

From: me
To: manpreet Date: Saturday, 3 July, 2010, 9:39 PM

(this letter is a reply to what she wrote. I was in an emotional hell and she inspired me to get out of it. love u manpreet)


hey sweety,
you dun need to apologise, for anything!!!! I totally understand why your replies are coming late! I go through the same phase, more often than not, when I'm in delhi. So, it's cool buddy!

First thing's first...how are you??? i bet the semester is ending and work pressure is double. I hope you ain't pushing urself hard and taking care of urself properly. If you need any help or anything, just remember I'm simply a msg away!

Thanks for your understanding and support. ||BIG HUG||. Love you so much! Actually hun, i finally figured out why this has been lingering for so long!!! To be frank, I always wanted everyone to like me! So, when people used to ambush me behind my back, I'd get hurt! But, now I have realised that it's okay if some people hate you. I mean, there is no shortcut to success but there is a sure way to failure and that is, if you try to please everyone! Be it my teachers, cousins, colleagues, i always wanted to be accepted and appreciated! Now I feel, the appreciation is not worth it, when it comes from the wrong kind or from people who do not accept who you are!. Besides, one doesn't want to be accepted by the wrong kind.
You know manpreet, reputation is very over rated, and character under-rated! I had read somewhere, "a good character is worth more than a good reputation"! I understand it's importance now. I don't want to have a good reputation at the cost of my character. At the end of the day, when I can face myself and appreciate myself for who I am, i'd rather have that! Just think, a person with a lot of fame, but no character, no sense of right/wrong, can that person ever face his trueself? he'll be living in an illusion all his life! Isn't that sad? I wouldn't want that ever!
And truth is, when you're being called a 'bitch' for no apparent reason or justification, then it's a "compliment in disguise"! It means you're successful. Yup! as wicked as this sounds, but it's the angelic truth! When people cannot be like x or y, isn't it easier to ambush them? "Grapes are sour", and that's why grapevine seems sweet...;-) So, from now on every time I'm labelled "mastermind" I'll smile and say "Thanks pea- brained"..I mean clearly, if you had enough brains, you would have figured out my "master plan" before i executed it..huh????
Just 5 more months and them I'm off. But techniqually its 150(+/-) days! Then these characters, will no longer exist in my life-book. And life's long! I'll meet so many people that at the end, the verdict of some petite loosers won't even matter. I don't need a certificate from them to prove myself. Nor, I'll change myself to be like them.
I know these 150days would be really hard, esp when I'm alone but I think, nope i know, I'll survive, you know why? 'cause I have my support system.People who genuinely care for me, appreciate me and accept me the way I'm. People who love my vices and me alike! people who understand that my negativities are a part of me and no one is perfect!! People who need no justification from me. People who can spell out each word exactly the way I think. People like YOU, SURANGAMA, Mom, My family and a rabbit named ZOOZOO.
Thank you so much for inspiring me, loving me unconditionally and being there for me, regardless of time, place and circumstances,and you are right..they can love me or hate me but surely they cannot ignore me! it makes me feel like a celeb!

I love you loads..
HUGs & Kisses
Sugana.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

So Many Times




So many times I thought this...
Forgetting everyone,
Forgetting everything!
Will unfold myself, in your presence
And admit to you
The love, I hid so wonderfully
All these years!

I always thought
You were the angel,
Sent upon me,
By none other than Almighty
Now how can I hate you,
After all these years,
After so many feelings?

I had decided secretly,
To stay away from you,
To keep away from you,
But to love you forever
And be alone forever

No one will ever know,
The love, I have for you
No one will ever see
The tears,
That run down my cheek!

Today, sitting alone,
All by myself, I contemplate
The past,
How do I express to you
The love that is still not lost?

So, so many times,
I thought to myself!!!


P.S. I have to mention that this poem is not my brain child! I got the inspiration from one of Tagore's song

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Animals-the esoteric clan


"Sugana: Isn't it amazing, how animals have more humane qualities than us humans! irony, huh?

@SuganaBanerjee for animals, ethics is more than an oesoteric concept. It's their way of life."


It's sad, but it's true! you probably would be wondering, why suddenly this? To begin with, I was watching the movie, "Two Brothers" today and I felt sad. I felt sympathetic towards the animals. The scene, where Kumar jumps from one log of wood to the next and claps his paws in air, while Sangha sat and watched...it was painfully beautiful! And then i felt this sudden sad feeling of how humans manipulate and mistreat their innocence, just because they are supposedly inferior! (For those, who do not know, Two Brothers is a story of two tiger cubs, separated by man, united by fate!). Inferior, I ask? them or us? Lets get a reality check!

If we look deep down within us and answer truthfully, are we as loyal as them? as affectionate as them? as innocent as them? or as caring as them? the scene, where the tigers are surrounded by flames and kumar (being trained as a circus tiger, after separated) easily jumps through it while Sangha is afraid! And then he jumps back, reassures sangha and both jump through the flames to the other side! How many of us would do such a thing? may be our parents? or few closed friends? It's amazing, they are the ones who cannot speak and yet their love is more vocal and loud than us!

No one is perfect. Neither them. They are innocent hence they show their feelings. They act according to their instincts. And us? we ,"superior beings", judge them belittling their actions as "animal instincts", In reality, however, we maneuver as hypocrites! Though we harbor the bitterest of feelings for someone, on his face we are always the sweetest! Which is better I ask? And although we proclaim we have the power to think, still many of us act on instincts vandalizing others, vandalizing the society, vandalizing women!!!

I guess the sense of ethics is more in them than us. "Back stabbing, lying, pretending, double crossing", these words don't exist in their world, in their dictionary, in their life, in their language. Have u seen a dog wagging his tongue at others? instead he wags his tail when he sees someone from his clan or his master!

while I write this post, my bunny is sitting next to me and from time to time is licking my hands or trying to protect me, if he hears some "suspicious noises" (read cracking of the door, thunder, phone ring, my brothers snores). His undying love for me, is so comforting! and all because of the shelter, food and care I provided. I know, even if I stop providing him with his favorite food or neglect him, his love for me will not change, neither die! can we humans ever love like that?

There's a reason why a dog is called a man's best friend! We all are aware of this. I understand it better now. Many intellectuals have vouched for their loyalty and sincerity! I remember reading somewhere, an anonymous author had wrote " I wish I become half as good as a person as my dog takes me to be, then my life would be fulfilled." I guess, it's true for all pets! Although, I wish i was half as good as my pet! I would have been so much better and life would have been so much simpler.

Enlightenment doesn't really mean complicated twisted truth. It is mere realisation of the simplicities in life! the uncomplicated mannerisms, the young innocent ways.Truly, animals are more enlightened than many scholars of our society! They accept life as it is, in it's simplest and uncomplicated form.

I dedicate this post to all the animals. You guys make the world a better place for us to live!


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

"Ignorance": Bliss is it?


They say, "Ignorance is bliss"
I ask, Is it?
They ask us, not to get involved...
I wonder, Possible, is it?
Opulence of unresolved feelings?
Diminish Them!
Cries of our conscious..
Unhear them!
Calls of judgement...
Ignore them!

God, we are not!
Mere humans, are we!
Hence, we err
Our conscious steer..
Feelings are risen
Only to be stricken
Down, by us!
Down, by man!

Ignorance is comfort,
Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is a shield
Used to deal
With the surreal feelings!!

Escapists, are we not?
I ask,
Is there an answer?
I ask...

"Thou shall never know,
'Cause, thou are afraid..
To confront the truth..
And bear the poisonous fruits..
Thou reaped!"

Answers, a greater voice
Right from within,
Is it me?
My soul?
Or,
Is it Him speaking?


Sunday, December 13, 2009

13 Cheers!!!


Today is 13th of december!! It is a bit unfair to think that "13"is an unlucky number! By this statement, I do not mean to hurt any religious sentiments!
I am merely stating for me,the number 13 is very special!!!

My parents were married on this day! Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, today is their anniversary and not just anniversary...it is their "25th anniversary"! It's kinda sad that I am not with them tonight! There is this big family dinner, which I am not a part of...but thanks to technology, I'll get to see them through the miracle of webcam and world wide web!!!

You know, my parents are very special to me...They are not just my guardians but my friends as well!!! By friends, however, I am defining my relationship with my mother! Dad's always been aloof though we are quite frank with each other! Initially I had difficulty in understanding his love for us..(i.e. me and my bro). He is not very good when it comes to showing his love or affection! I guess, I have got this from him along with the dimples! :P Although, once I am comfortable in a relationship, I am very open and warm, quite unlike big daddy! ;-) Anyhow, I must confess...after moving away from home and staying all by myself I think I can understand and definitely feel his love better! And, I do not know if my parents will ever read this...but I would just like to say that they are the best in the world and I love them a lot and definitely MISS them quite a bit!

Anyway, as I was saying today is my parents anniversary! I always wondered how two people, completely opposite be so much in love??? In the past 20 years of my life, I have never seen them fight even once. I have heard of the saying that people who love the most, fight a lot...I don't think I believe in that anymore. 25 years, and not a single fight!!! Soul mates are they? And what is more beautiful is their relationship! My dad is not a very possessive man, or nor very romantic and definitely not at all expressive! (Mom, as usual is opposite except she isn't also very possessive) Can you believe, he never proposed to mom or said "I Love You" to her? How can 2 people even love each other without telling each other? Something to think about or something,I'll never understand..may be I am not meant to!

I don't think I have ever seen dad asking mom where she is going, or why she is so late or seeing him going through her call list! Infact he doesn't even answer her phone when its ringing and she is not there! Instead, he will shout and call either of us and ask us to take it! Same goes for my mother! Their trust, their loyalty, their committment...something which is inexpressible yet so very there...something so beautiful..yet so abstract! As a child, I thought may be them being opposite is the key to their success! But I learn now, not all opposites are so happy....................!

I guess "passion" is quite over rated! Isn't it?? It has to die someday...but what we are left with is trust, love, respect and care....a bond which is everlasting and so very beautiful that you don't even need the gift of language or words of expression..... just like my parents! I guess we youngstars should learn something from these "big mommies and daddies of romance"....;-)..shouldn't we?

So Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to raise a toast to the most wonderful couple I have ever met...and here's wishing them a life time of happiness, good health and prosperity forever, together and always! Cheers....

Now, coming back to number 13, apart from my parents...there's some more special people and sweet memories related to it! Prachi's birthday is on 13th March...someone so beautiful, and not just from outside, but also from inside...how can she be born on an unlucky day? 14th april is my other favourite's birthday...Manpreet's...24hours from 13th april...coinciding with Bengali New Years...not unlucky..very auspicious and anticipated! Last but not the least 13th feb, each year we...at 12 am..the world starts celebrating the most romantic or should i say, loving day of the year..(technically its 14th but the celebration starts from 13 midnight itself, so lets keep the technicality aside for a while!)

For now, lets all celebrate the magic of this number and for once forget its unlucky past!

"No. 13...I love you..and I'll always will!!!

Yours truely,
Sugana...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Gone with the wind...


Once upon a time...there was a little girl....skeptical, shy, timid, unaware of the harsh realities in life....She lived in far away country, amidst the beauty of nature....where men wore hats...and women adorned skirts...a place that was free from the shackles of the cruel, ruthless and competitive world. She used to live with her grandmother in a small cottage, isolated from the rest of the town. Her grandmother was her only family. She had never seen her parents....all she knew was they were up there in the starry sky twinkling as stars...looking down upon their little darling. The girl was content in her small world. Her only best friend was this mango tree. Lovingly she would call it "Momo"...Larger part of the afternoons...she would spend with momo...amidst its branches..in its lap, talking to it..and when no one was looking she would dance holding the branches. There was something about the tree that made her feel so secure and comfortable. When her grandmother would not give her 2 cents to have icecream, she would run to Momo..and hug it and share her grief! Surprisingly, when she would look down..there would be a 2 cent coin lying!

Then finally the day came when she had to go to school. She had cried a lot that day. She couldn't wait to get back home and run to Momo. Slowly she got used to the "regular" life. Her visits to Momo lessened . She could only visit the tree in weekends, as homework took most of her time. Hence, she eagerly waited for holidays to come....

On Christmas eve, her grandmother presented her with a very pretty frock...the one which she read in the story" Cinderella"...excited she ran to show Momo..her present!!! She wore it...dance around the its branches like a dainty little angel...spoke her heart out and finally when the sun set...she ran home. On her way back, she met her friend Christopher, who invited her to the christmas party. He also said she was allowed to bring a "date". Not knowing what date was...she asked her grandmother, over dinner. Her grandmother explained that a "date" was a friend whom she liked and who liked her aswell and with whom she could share anything. Then her grandmother explained how she was her grandfather's date and how her mother was her father's date. After dinner, she lay on her little bed thinking who could be her date! and then her eyes feel on something outside the window and she had an answer!

The following evening, she dressed up in the Cinderella frock and went to Momo. Then very politely she asked it, if it would come to party as her "date"!! A faint breeze was blowing that shook the branches of the tree! The girl waited there for the tree to move...and finally realising it will not, she broke a twig and took it with her to the party as her date!

Years passed by, the little girl grew up to be a beautiful and charming woman. Her bond with Momo also strengthened! Momo was one thing in her life that was always there and accessible to her!

One fine morning, the girl dressed in a white dress and a wale approached the tree. The moment she was near it, this familiar breeze began to blow again...the same happiness...the same comfort the same security! Today was a special day. She was getting married! Her groom to be was the same Christopher!

As she stood there talking to it and caressing its branches, she recalled what all things she had shared with Momo over the past years...her first meeting with Christopher in school and what a "jerk" he became in college...their friendship, their fights...the first time they went to the ball, the homecoming dance, the first drive together, the first rose which Christopher gave her, coincidentally he had found the rose beneath this tree only! their first kiss, their first valentine's day, the day he proposed! As she reminisced , tears filled her eyes but there was this shy smile on her lips! and suddenly it occured to her that she wont be able to meet Momo every weekend now! Christopher and his family had moved to the other part of the town and the drive was a long one! There was this "bittersweet symphony" playing in her heart! She din't wanna go. She stayed there hugging its branches! As she heard the town clock strike 1...she knew she had to go. Christopher was waiting in the church... Before leaving she broke a twig and kissed the branch. As she turned to go the church, the branches of the tree, began to shake, but there was no breeze! It was something unfamiliar..as if the tree was calling her back! She stood there, waiting for sometime and then she left!

Marital life came as a bliss to her. She was happy with Christopher and her new family. Life was never so romantic! She hadn't completely forgotten Momo...whenever she would speak to her grandmother over the phone, she would ask about her mango tree! Occasionally she would look at the twig which she brought with her. She would speak to it, when sad or She would blush and share her romantic adventures with Christopher !

Oneday, the news of her ailing grandmother reached her and she rushed to see her! The doctor said the grandmother had to be immediately shifted to the "big city hospital"! Christopher made arrangements to shift her grandmother and she started packing her stuff! Suddenly her eyes fell outside the window.She stood there still! And then she ran out...she ran out to Momo...

There Momo was standing with dead branches and fallen leaves! Tears started rolling down her cheeks! How could she not visit Momo? The grief was unbearable and she had to sit! As she knelt down before the tree ...she saw a worn away rose lying there, amidst the fallen leaves!!! She picked it up... and suddenly the familiar wind had started to blow again.....